Connect Through Authenticity Rather Than Conformity

It's natural to want to fit in and feel like we belong. Research has revealed that we tend to follow the lead of those in our inner circle, while deliberately distancing ourselves from those who are not. We all have a need to be accepted and valued, and sometimes that can lead us to conform to certain norms or expectations. It's important to remember that it's okay to be true to ourselves and our own unique perspectives, even if that means straying from the crowd. Ultimately, embracing our individuality and staying true to our own values is what leads to true fulfillment and happiness.

Recently I watched a program on President Theodore Roosevelt. He was one of the most effective and beloved American presidents during his time. Yet, he was, to use contemporary political language, a member of the 1 percent. He might have even fallen in the .01 percent. He was wealthy and aristocratic. And he didn’t pretend to be otherwise.

 

Yet, as the program pointed out, it was his lack of pretending—his authenticity— that endeared him to the public. He knew who he was, and so did the people. He did not try to be someone else.

 

Moses followed the same strategy. He was raised in Pharaoh’s palace. He probably spoke with an aristocratic lilt. He did not, however, pretend that he grew up a slave. He knew who he was, and he led from that foundation. The people may have felt jealous at first, but they came to respect and follow him. Leadership depends on authenticity.

I have always held authenticity as one of my core values, a belief that I learned not through formal education but through the ups and downs of life. Merriam Webster defines conformity as acting in accordance with a set standard or authority, while authenticity means being true to yourself. It makes me wonder - what happens when the way you see things doesn't quite fit the mold? What if your perspective is just a little bit different, not necessarily wrong, just unique? As someone who holds authenticity dear, I believe in embracing our individuality and striving to find our own path, even if it diverges from the norm.

It's understandable to feel nervous about being authentic in the workplace. We may fear that being true to ourselves will somehow diminish our professionalism. Others may worry about their coworkers' actions becoming unruly and inappropriate with newfound freedom. But rest assured, being genuine doesn't mean sacrificing professionalism. We should all strive to create a safe and inclusive environment where everyone feels comfortable bringing their full selves to work. Trust that authenticity can coexist with professionalism, and it'll lead to a more vibrant and engaged workplace.

Playing devil’s advocate for a minute, I would also like to ponder this thought. In a world that values authenticity and originality, many people find themselves struggling to keep up. It seems like everyone is performing, trying to be something they're not, and conformity has become the norm. Unfortunately, imitating others is no longer seen as flattery, but rather as inauthenticity. But don't worry, we understand the pressure you feel and we're here to remind you that being true to yourself is the most important thing you can do. Let's work together to embrace your unique qualities and stand out from the crowd in the best way possible.

 

What is Conformity?

Are you one to conform to the majority position? This behavior can stem from a desire to fit in or be liked, a need for accuracy, or even conforming to a specific social role. Let's explore the concept of conformity and its underlying motivations.

Have you ever found yourself agreeing with the majority in a group, not because you believed it was right, but because you wanted to fit in or be liked? That's called normative conformity. But there's also informational conformity, where we conform to be correct, and identification conformity, where we conform to our social roles. Understanding these forms of conformity can help us navigate group dynamics and make more independent choices.

I like how Jane Howard-Martin, Connie Almond, Ledja Cormney, Jennifer Jones, and Meyling Ly defined non-conformity in their article “Does Your Workplace Encourage Conformity or Authenticity?”

“It’s about being who you are without having to conform to someone else’s expectations of how you should show up in the workplace.”

How is Conformity manifested?

Although many people pride themselves on their individuality, humans are inherently social creatures. To maintain group harmony, we are naturally inclined to conform to the norms and behaviors of those around us. This can involve mirroring actions, consulting peers before making decisions, or adhering to unwritten social rules. It is our human nature to seek acceptance within a group, but this can come at the expense of our uniqueness.

Your company may not be as open to new and innovative ideas as you’d hope. The corporate world can sometimes make us feel like our ideas should be kept hidden until we share them with our boss. But you deserve to own your thoughts and have them recognized. Don't limit yourself to only discussing your ideas with higher-ups. Share them with peers and colleagues who can help develop them further. You have a unique perspective that is valuable, and by sharing it more openly, you can gain a new level of confidence in your abilities. Remember, your ideas are yours, and you should feel empowered to take credit for them. Don't be afraid to let your voice be heard!

“In fear-based, failure-averse culture, people will consciously or unconsciously avoid risk. They will seek instead to repeat something safe that’s been good enough in the past. Their work will be derivative, not innovative. But if you can foster a positive understanding of failure, the opposite will happen.” — Ed Catmull, Creativity, Inc.

How can you embrace your true self?

Celebrate who you are by embracing your true self! It's about expressing yourself and finding happiness in your individuality. Whether it's learning to love yourself or not conforming to fit in, you deserve to be authentically you.

By defining your guiding purpose, you can connect with your values and make decisions that align with your principles. It's not just about achieving a certain position or outcome but understanding the deeper motivations behind it. Encouraging yourself to focus on making a positive impact can bring purpose and fulfillment to your pursuits. Let's support and guide each other in finding our true calling and making a meaningful difference in the world.

Some steps you can take:

1.   Identify what you LIKE about YOURSELF. Have you ever taken a moment to appreciate your unique strengths and talents? It's easy to overlook them, but they're a crucial part of what makes you who you are. Whether you have a way with words or a fantastic sense of humor, it's important to recognize and celebrate your best qualities. Let's take some time to acknowledge the awesomeness that is YOU.

 

2. Be present. Being true to yourself is crucial, but it's not easy when you're constantly being pulled in different directions. That's why learning to be present with yourself is so important. By taking a moment to breathe and check in with yourself, you can gain clarity and focus on what really matters. As you become more mindful, you'll start to notice when you're not being true to yourself and find opportunities to express your authentic self. So take a step back, breathe, and start living your most authentic life.

 

3. Breaking Free from Self-Limiting Beliefs. Do you find yourself constantly worried about what others think of you? It's a common struggle, but it's important to remember that to be true to yourself, you must let go of those concerns. Instead, focus on what you know and think of yourself - that's what truly matters. Don't feel like you have to wear different masks to please others, as you'll only end up losing yourself in the process. Remember to be authentic without being rude or self-indulgent. Ultimately, it's your perception of yourself that matters most - not anyone else's. So channel your energy into being confident in who you are and let your behavior flow naturally.

 

4. If you're scared, go for it anyway! Do you often find yourself conforming to the opinions and actions of those around you, even if they don't align with your true beliefs? It's a common struggle to express ourselves authentically, especially when it involves confronting others or sharing personal experiences. I remember feeling so intimidated when I first started sharing my thoughts through writing, and I still get nervous every time I publish something vulnerable. But despite the possibility of negative feedback or criticism, it's important to be true to ourselves and our values. Remember, there will always be those who appreciate our voice and those who won't - and that's completely okay.

 

5. Let’s take a moment to recognize and honor the incredible person that is you! As you strive to be your authentic self, remember that the goal is to genuinely appreciate and love who you are. Rather than seeking love and validation from external sources like money, success, or romance, turn inward and discover the love within yourself. This self-love is the secret to true fulfillment in life. So take the journey towards self-discovery with care, kindness, and a commitment to honoring and cherishing the person you were always meant to be.

 

6. Recognize the Impact of External and Internal Factors on Your Life. Discovering the driving forces behind our habits and behaviors is crucial to achieving meaningful goals. But, is your motivation coming from within or from external factors? It's time to establish your own path and concentrate on the steps that will lead you to your aspirations.

 

When focusing on your goals, it's essential to delve deeper into their significance. Is your desire for a promotion rooted in more money, or greater influence? Or do you aspire to coach and inspire others? Dig a little deeper and ask yourself, how does this goal connect to your life's purpose?

 

Don't ignore your internal self-talk, especially when it comes to words like "should" and "need to." These key phrases can indicate where your drivers come from. Instead of saying "I should look for my next promotion," consider "I wonder what steps I can take to advance in my career," or "I wonder what would bring me greater job satisfaction." Remember, achieving true success begins with aligning your goals with your life purpose.

 

What happens when we hide our true selves?

Sometimes it's easier to put on a mask and hide who we really are. But when we do that, we lose sight of our values and our true purpose in life. It's like trying to bake a cake without all the key ingredients - sure, it might look good on the outside, but it won't be as fulfilling as it could be. Instead, we end up chasing things that don't truly matter to us, just to impress people we don't even like. That's why it's so important to stay true to yourself and to honor the things that make you uniquely you. You deserve a life that's full of purpose and meaning - don't waste it on things that don't really matter.

Have you ever felt that your true self is unlovable or unacceptable? It's a common concern called the Relational Paradox. As humans, we crave deep, fulfilling relationships, but we worry that revealing our flaws and imperfections will cause rejection. This leads us to hide parts of ourselves, hindering true connection and resulting in unfulfilling relationships. Let's break the cycle and embrace our authenticity to find genuine connections with others.

Don't hide who you truly are. Faking and conforming may seem like an easy way to fit in, but it's not sustainable. You'll eventually crave authenticity. Embrace your unique qualities and love yourself for who you are. No need for a mask, let your true self shine! Remember, being genuine, joyful, and true to yourself is the key to happiness.

How can we encourage Authenticity in the workplace?

1. When we create a culture where honesty is welcomed and feedback is valued, we empower individuals to explore and question their own ideas. The pursuit of excellence is no longer restricted to a single moment of revelation but can be achieved through collaboration and the exchange of diverse perspectives. Let's nurture an environment where openness is celebrated, and growth is cultivated. Together, we can reach new heights of creativity and success.

 

2. By trusting in the process and yourself. Pixar knows that when it comes to creating an unforgettable movie, the director and her team know best. They're the ones who pour their hearts and souls into every aspect of the project, and their expertise is unmatched. While the Braintrust's solution may be helpful, it's the creative team that truly understands how to bring a vision to life in a way that's cohesive, compelling, and magical. Pixar believes in empowering these gifted individuals to dream big and take risks, because that's how the most memorable stories are born.

 

 

3. Championing Diversity: The Power of Leading with Inclusivity. Being authentic includes making everyone feel included. When your employees feel like they belong, they'll feel comfortable enough to be themselves. As a leader, it's important to demonstrate inclusiveness by building relationships, recognizing your employees, showing empathy, making social connections, encouraging participation, and creating alignment. Our research has found that these components of inclusive leadership are crucial. So, make sure to be a leader who fosters a diverse and welcoming environment for everyone.

 

4. Encourage diversity in your team and unlock its full potential. Leaders can create a more inclusive workplace by hiring and retaining underrepresented individuals. This not only makes current underrepresented employees feel more welcome, but also brings much-needed visibility to diversity in leadership positions. When underrepresented individuals occupy leadership roles, they have the opportunity to represent and empower their peers in the organization. According to Njeri Nginyo, VP and Assistant General Counsel of ADP's Global Contracts Team, seeing people who look like you or come from diverse backgrounds can make a huge difference in feeling welcomed and valued at work.

 

5. It's important to express your emotions. Don't be afraid to share how you truly feel. Although it's wise not to obsess over distressing news or engage in divisive discussions, sharing your emotions briefly with others can help build relationships. By expressing how you feel, you provide others with a safe space to process their own emotions, reduce isolation, and foster a sense of solidarity.

 

6. Encourage your team to embrace mistakes – it's part of growth and learning. By demonstrating that mistakes are not only acceptable, but also serve as opportunities for personal and professional development, you empower your team to take calculated risks and learn from their missteps. This fosters a culture of transparency and accountability where individuals are willing to openly discuss their mistakes and work collectively to find effective solutions. Consequently, your team becomes more adept at responding to challenges and improving processes, resulting in a more cohesive and resilient unit. Encourage your team to embrace and learn from their mistakes, and witness firsthand the positive impact it has on your organization.

 

It is important to stay true to ourselves and embrace our individual perspectives, rather than conforming to the norms or expectations of others, to experience true fulfillment and happiness. Authenticity is essential for effective leadership, and it requires staying true to oneself even when one's perspective does not fit the societal mold. Creating a safe and inclusive environment where everyone can be their authentic selves will lead to a more vibrant and engaged workplace.

We should support each other in embracing our true selves and finding our deeper purpose in order to make a meaningful impact on the world. Recognizing and celebrating your unique strengths and talents is an important part of appreciating yourself. Taking a moment to breathe and check in with yourself can help you gain clarity and focus on what matters most, enabling you to live an authentic life.

To achieve true success, it is important to focus on your goals and explore their significance, while aligning them with your life purpose. Breaking the cycle of relational insecurity requires us to embrace our true selves and find genuine connections with others. Let your true self shine and embrace your unique qualities to find happiness.

 

 

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