Choosing the Win-Win

So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives.

Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.”

Genesis 13:8-9

For those of us who know the story, Lot's herdsmen were having a conflict with Abram's men. They had so many flocks and herds between them that the land could not support them all. Lot looked around and saw the land towards Zoar was well watered and beautifully green. Abram, who was the elder and the patriarch could have asserted his prominence and chosen first and best but he did not, he allowed Lot to. By doing what he did, he still was greatly blessed and preserved the win-win.

Stephen Covey certainly recognized that in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Habit 4 simply acknowledges that how we think about conflict determines the solution. I confess this habit is one of my favorites because it gives me permission to think creatively about possible solutions. Specifically on how I can fashion a Win-Win situation. 

In order to come to a win-win solution, we need to seek first to understand and then be understood. 

 Thinking win-win is the opposite of thinking only of yourself.  It’s a mindset that seeks first to add value to all. Yes, even to yourself. 

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13 ESV)

But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. (Matt. 5:44 ESV)

Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others. (Phil. 2:4 ESV)

 

 

How do we get to win-win?

 

By laying down our insistence on getting everything we want for starters. Christ modeled this approach for us by emptying himself to achieve what was the greatest win-win ever conceived — the gospel.